Hi! My name's Sekrit and I use this journal exclusively to participate in the South Park fandom.

For ease of use, here is a complete list of fan fic I've written:


(  works complete. )

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( works in progress. )

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( gifts. )

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( scraps. )

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( porn. )

Dude, AV Club. Matt Stone and Trey Parker pretty much invented Comedy Central and are damn hell ass billionaires. The only sleep they lose over what they put on TV is because they have to be up 24/7 for seven weeks at a time to whip their computer-jockey slaves. (Like Clyde getting Cartman a bucket of KFC, if you will. Two buckets.) So really, your efforts to scratch away at the illuminated meaning of all that occurs on South Park is kinda misguided. If it wasn't funny it wasn't funny. Stop trying to grasp which button they're pushing. They don't push buttons. They smash away at the panel and hope the elevator stops at a floor that makes people laugh.

In other news, Kenny is like almost a character this season.

Um, did anyone ever save any of Omusubi's fics? I think she wiped her account.

Continued from here.

Title: The Other Table (9/10)
Author: sekrit_omg
Pairing: Stan/Kyle; various
Rating: R
Summary: It's human nature to want to know everything about others, and nothing about ourselves.
Author's note: Just in case you can't remember what's going on in this bad, bad story, guess what? Neither could I. So I made this chart:

Apparently, according to the FAQ, Matt Stone does Craig's voice.

Okay, I thought it was Trey. FOR THE PAST TWO YEARS. Why didn't anyone tell me? This changes, like, how I feel about everything. ... Well, only how I feel about Craig, I guess.

OH MY GOD

FUCK THE PAIN AWAY

This is awesome.

ETA: I just had what might be my best idea of the past six hours -- an annotated South Park LiveJournal, or something, where someone (probably me, but way more likely no one) goes through each episode and posts links to information about various things referenced in episodes, internally and externally. OMG, that'd be awesome.

I love how Wilde and Cannibal! The Musical have like the same exact opening sequence.

Console yourself about life's many upsets with this:


Title: Fake Hipsters (5/?)
Author: sekrit_omg
Rating: R
Pairing: Many delicious pairings to sample at this buffet of cartoon fanfic
Summary: You can take Stan out of South Park, but you can't take the South Park out of Stan.
Note: Thanks to moondarri again. I'm so sorry I'm inept at posting things in a timely manner.

( The next morning wasn’t too bright; in the sky hung dense gray clouds, and in the streets carbon slush was drooling toward the gutters.  )

Oh, good, now the awesomeness of Stan's rectum is canon. Well played, show.

MY SHIP JUST GOT SUNK SO HARD

Wahhhhhhhhhhhh! RIP, Fox/Collin. You were canon for seven years, and now you're not. I can't believe how sad I am.

The appeal of Stan/Craig.

Anyone?

Okay, seriously, here is a question: What do/would Kyle and Kenny see in each other that would make them fall in love, or date, or want to be together? This is something I like to ask about basically all pairings I write. I'm not planning on writing this one, but it's getting talked about a lot, so I'm seriously wondering. I am not asking for what about them appeals to the fandom (although, sure, throw that in there). I specifically want to know why they're dating, or what they like about each other. Anyone?

What should I work really hard on and finish and get edited and post next? You get to decide!!

1. A chapter of British porn
2. A chapter of Fake Hispters
3. A chapter of the fucking Other Table
4. Kyle with no eyes
5. Stan slits his wrists
6. Those prompts I asked for last ... September
7. Cinvxten's prompt
8. Some Stan/Kenny I promised to write for a girl in exchange for a drawing that she never drew for me

I will do this instead of concentrating on my life.

Never thought I'd have to edit the phrase "peeing in Token's locker" out of a story, but it's been a weird year.

Title: Fake Hipsters (4/?)
Author: sekrit_omg
Rating: R
Pairing: S/K; others
Summary: You can take Stan out of South Park, but you can't take the South Park out of Stan.
Note: I still don't know how long this is supposed to be. Also, moondarri has beta read this, and I really appreciate it.

( Stan immediately knew two things upon waking in the morning: He was not in his own bed, and he was ill. )

I bought groceries
Trader Joe is such a pimp
(Really my mom paid)

Title: Fake Hipsters (3/?)
Author: sekrit_omg
Rating: This chapter, PG13
Pairing: S/K; others
Summary: You can take Stan out of South Park, but you can't take the South Park out of Stan.
Note: moondarri has been beta-reading this, and I am very grateful.

( One hour after the first guest (Clyde, like it mattered) arrived, Stan was well on his way to his ultimate goal of being massively fucked-up. )

Memo to the entire world, or perhaps just the South Park fandom: Everyone, please stop requesting/writing fics in which someone passes out and someone else is there and the first person has a sexy dream about the second person and starts moaning his name and whatever. This idea isn't good enough to warrant really more than one example, yet I feel like I'm wading through so many of these I have to wear clam diggers. Thank you, everyone, for complying.

I'm sorry, I just need to get this off of my chest before I move on to formatting this thing for FF.net.

I am very close to just saying 'fuck it' and never posting another fic on LiveJournal again. I know it doesn't seem like that big a deal, but making five separate posts and formating all of them for this site is fucking absurd. This chapter I just posted isn't even all that long; it's only about 16,000 words. I see no reason why I shouldn't be able to get that into one post, or at least two. But five?

So I am seriously asking this, and I really hope you guys will respond: If I only linked to larger stories posted on FF.net in my LiveJournal, would you still read them? And, also important although not as much, would that keep you from commenting? The reason I started double-posting is that I thought only doing it on FanFiction.net would exclude LJ people, and vice versa.

It's just driving me crazy, is all. Posting a story shouldn't take two hours.